I spent the entire first month of Ophelia's life convinced I was dying. I didn't have any specific proof (except for a slightly suspicious lump in my left breast) but even though my husband, and doctor told me I was fine I spent everyday of her first month of life under a dark cloud. It wasn't that I wanted to be miserable, or even that I wanted to doubt the people around me but I couldn't stop the overwhelming panic and anxiety. I couldn't keep the loud voice in my head telling me again and again that I was not going to get to see my babies grow up at bay. And today I want to share this with you, because I don't think we talk enough about that first month postpartum and I think that needs to change.
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