For those of you who follow us on Instagram you probably already saw but I posted a post the other night about my own insecurities and worries with social media and being good enough. Nothing major just where I am at and how I feel. Someone responded to that and told me that I am incredibly shallow for thinking that... shallow for sharing my heart and that I should focus more on my children. I didn't respond because honestly a comment like that doesn't necessarily warrant a response (though here it is in this blog post so maybe it does) but then it really got me thinking, about shallowness, about living in a society where we are expected to only share "deep" things whatever that means. so....
I wanted to take a moment to say it's okay to be shallow. It's okay to be human and to have thoughts that maybe aren't incredibly deep or what others might consider valid... it is okay. When I think about living in a world where I can't be shallow the word "suppressed" comes to mind and honestly I don't want to live a suppressed life... I don't want my daughters to grow up seeing me only sharing the deep things... I want them to see it all. The good, the bad, the incredibly vain, and dumb... the whatever. I want them to know it is okay to have shallow thoughts (which ps. I am not even sure how to define shallow.. when I think about shallow it brings up skipping rocks on a pond... you have to start somewhere and the shallow ripples tend to lead to deeper things right?)
I want them to know that yes I struggle with my body image, I worry about what other people think of me, I sometimes spend too much time dwelling on insignificant problems, worry I am not good enough, creative enough, and I feel real emotions about things that maybe others would consider dumb. I want them to see this because I want them to know they aren't alone when they feel these things. The problem with living in a society that doesn't make room for the shallow is it eventually becomes a very lonely and isolating community. If you can't share the little things how can you be expected to share the big things right? I want my daughters to feel free to come to me with anything.. not just the heavy stuff because honestly if they don't think they can tell me about something small why in the world would they come to me with something big?
So yes I am shallow, I am insecure, I dwell on things that don't matter longer than I should, and I make a ton of mistakes.. But I truly believe it's making room for those things that allows for actual depth to come. In being aware of the points in my life where I lack depth I am better able to recognize the places of depth and appreciate them for the beautiful moments that they are. Not only that but in making space for the shallowness in myself I truly believe it makes space for shallowness in others which at the end of the day will lead to more beauty and depth for not only me but those around me as well (because seriously in what world do we get anywhere through judgement and only talking about deep things). The truth is it is the shallowness that makes us real.. human, keeps us from suppression and being fake. It is in these shallow moments of maybe weakness (maybe not) that I am vulnerable and I am okay with that.
So that is really it.. I just wanted to take a moment to say it is okay to feel, it is okay to lack depth in a situation, it is okay to be human. You aren't alone, you don't have to be perfect, and you most definitely don't have to be deep. You just have to be real... whatever that looks like and it might not always be pretty but that is okay.... I hope at the end of the day my daughters don't see me as this perfectly together mom, I hope they see that I am human, that I am weak, but most importantly that I love them and am there for them no matter what they are feeling or thinking.